For saying that something is not enough, we need a measuring tape and a reference threshold. For instance, you maybe can reach the first shelf of the kitchen cabinet, but not the last one on top, al least not without a stool. Therefore, you are not tall enough for reaching that last one shelf. I can measure your height plus the length of your arm, and I can measure the height of that last one shelf on top – the reference – and take conclusions about your enoughness, at least without a stool.
Why does most of us, humans, have this feeling of insufficiency to make this walk of life? This feeling of never being enough?
Let us come down to facts. For saying that someone – including myself – is not enough we need some type of metric and a reference threshold. We take the person – you or me – we measure it using the agreed metric and we check if it is above or below the threshold to conclude the enoughness, right?
When I was a child, I could only reach the first shelf of the kitchen cabinet but not the top one where my mother kept my favorite coconut cookies. At least, not without balancing two stools, one on top of the other. I was not enough, but I was eating cookies (in a convenient moderate rhythm allowing my mother to pretend she didn’t know about my circus abilities).
The threshold was quite clear at that time: the height of the top shelf. Eventually I grew up and my taste got a lot more exquisite than coconut cookies…
The problem in life is that the top shelf is a moving up target. We grow and the one day we start reaching it, we receive a message from our reference provider like: “We regret to inform you that since yesterday, we had to upgrade your threshold one level up. Thank you for keeping our services. Sincerely, [Your mind]”.
This reference provider really needs a more serious approach to business. You know when you are being overcharged by e.g. your cable provider. Why don’t you know it here as well? Your mind is doing you a lousy service in what concerns measuring your enoughness. It’s time to renegotiate this contract not serving you properly.
Why do we stay for so long in these lose-lose agreements, eroding all the resources we got? Why do we stay on the though, on the belief that we are not ever enough? Is it that we are afraid that the moving target is the only reason that pushes us to grow, thus keeping us alive? Is it that we don’t want to assume the responsibility of setting our next target, being afraid of settling for the bottom shelf?
As we grow, we need to reach some targets in between, look back to what we’ve done and give room for celebration. To enjoy the small victories. To tap ourselves on the back.
Write yourself now a new contract with life, where you decide where to keep the cookie jar and the size of your stool. If you want to raise the bar, do it after celebrating your last achievement and recognizing how much you grew up since the previous one.
You are ENOUGH! Write it NOW!
If this message resonates with you and you want to explore these thoughts further, feel free to contact me for a conversation.
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Featured photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash